So, here we are, about to descend into the scary depths of 2008. Funny, how quick time goes. I generally see the passing of time in accordance to when I joined the TR forum, it being dated and everything. 2004. An eternity ago it feels, and why shouldn’t it? We’ve all moved on from being… naïve, barely-pubescent teenagers into… well… I’m 18 now, an adult, technically.
And I know I haven’t updated much in 2007 but I thought I’d take this opportunity to revise what 2007 has meant to me on here, being slightly more personal, expressive of feelings away from prying eyes of family members or significant others that have loomed onto both myspace… facebook… bebo. But, that’s okay; it’s always nice to have a little sanctuary.
I’ve got my diary here, started in…January 2007, which seems fairly apt, and at the end of whatever I rattle on about here, I’m going to type out some ‘memorable’ quotes from it, excluding names and specific references, of course.
So many people have said to me that 2007 has been a terrible year for them… pointless some have even described it as. I don’t know. I personally believe this year to have been… one of the best so far. And I think maybe that was partly to do with the releasing of the shackles of childhood. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I turned 18 this year and my height and weight and general appearance have always restricted me from all the 18+ events, which caused a lot of isolation towards the end of 2006 and even partly into 2007. But the actual ID to prove my age as an adult has boosted my confidence and, not ignoring it, my social life incredibly.
I’m going to have to head into my diary now and work my way from January and revise some of the events and their significances. Hold up.
My departure from Canterbury College has certainly improved my state of mind this year. Not to say that the college was terrible, those two years were amazing, but at the start of 2007 I was at college 4 days a week and working 3 days a week. Which, as you can imagine began to stress me out immensely after a while. And while we’re on the subject of education, I started university this year, and for if not that reason alone (and that isn’t the only reason btw) 2007 has certainly been a memorable year for me.
Ben & Jerry’s Festival was an amazing day, along with Electric Gardens festival and obviously my 18th birthday which fell the night before EG festival (Next year it falls on my birthday itself!). Both Equus trips were eventful, funny… brilliant. I’ve seen so many bands this year, some of whom weren’t all too good and some of whom were amazing. I’ve had a few heartbreaks this year, but I’ve dealt with much worse when it comes to being let down by men so it’s been nothing I cannot handle, though slightly harder to shake off. I’ve met some new friends, I’ve met some famous people who I might never meet again, I’ve met some regular people, wonderful people who I may never meet again. But, this said, I’ve lost friends this year; friends have moved away, friends have drifted apart, friends have wrenched themselves away from the level of affection due to their actions… my actions? Whatever. …
It’s odd. I’ve been craving to write this entry for a long time. But now that it comes to it, I can’t think of things to write. I guess I’ll begin to end my entry here then. As mentioned before, I’ll finish with various quotes from my diary but before that, I’d like to wish every one of you reading this, every one of you who cannot read this, every person whom has been a part of my 2007, whether for the good or the worse, thank you for an amazing year and here’s hoping that your 2007 has been better than you expected it to be.
And now, you lucky (and fair few) readers, here are some quotes. Enjoy.
“I hate the paranoia when you are ill for a bit and then have to re-emerge into the outside world with people, and shoes, and no dressing gowns…. and no Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter…”
“Also. Wtf is my sudden sexual attraction to Robert Webb?!”
“Anyway. Yeah. I did spend the entire set eye-fucking him…”
“So funny, a the start of the day we went to the theatre just to see where we needed to go from the station and as we stood outside Jaz says ‘what would you do if Dan Rad walked past?’ And guess what happened? Dan Rad walked past us!!!!!!!! It was t’riffic!”
“I mean, it’s hardly Keats but fuck me.”
“You watch, he’ll cal me in the sober light of day and I’ll be speechless.”
“I met Noel Fielding. We actually had a con-ver-sa-tion!”
“I also met Rich Fulcher, he’s a bit of a giggle.”
Feel free to ask me about any of the quotes should you care to know details or w/e, if not, don’t worry, it gave me a few fair giggles and smiles and, yes even a few breakdowns into tears, while reading back through my diary. There are some places where I’d want the world to swallow me up, some places where I’d want everything to just end. But, hey. That’s what life is, a rocky road full of highs and lows that you hope will eventually lead you to your own arcadia.
Here’s wishing you all a very happy, successful and fulfilling 2008.
I know I haven't been on here a lot but... this is really the only place I have left that is away from family and friends.
I mean, not that my friends on here aren't friends, but I mean... if I want to 'open up' about stuff, then I don't want my closest friends or brothers reading all the personal details.
Doubt anyone will do this though because I don't LJ enough so people don't bother seeing if I write anything.
Which is fair enough, because y'know, I don't *wink*
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Leave a comment here and I'll:
1. Tell you why I friended you 2. Associate you with a song/movie 3. Tell a random fact about you 4. Tell a first memory about you 5. Associate you with an animal/fruit 6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you 7. Post this in your own LJ!
Don't expect me to type a completely new entry. Snagging from my Myspace blog >_<
The Bloggage:
How great was London yesterday? I mean, not only did I buy some lovely new underwear (Topshop and the Disney store! Did you know the Disney store did ladies underwear? I didn't!) and some Disney A4 notebooks for College (yeah, my tutors are gonna love me this year, they have pictures of Disney characters on the pages) but, we saw Alan Carr!
Alan-fucking-Carr! Of all people! With his pink shirt and his sleeping bag! Off to V according to Jaz's mum so there you go.
No news about the Astoria though, we've heard rumours about them knocking it down so Jaz went in and asked at the ticket desk there (and also to peek to see if they have any Automatic tickets left because the bugas have gone so quick) and she's like "I don't know, I only work here". What? Surely you must know if you are gonna lose your job or not!
Oh. And Olive Coffee. There must be a stray olive in the fridge from the other night. Or when they were in the rfidge they were next to my iced latte thing (which i was gonna drink on my birthday but didn't get round to it) and it tasted slightly of Olives. Not the most pleasant thing in the world but if i didn't breathe in when I was gonna take a sip then it couldn't taste it so, it's all good.
The Original Ending:
Right. I need a shower because mum's just sprung on me the fact that after lunch we're going for a walk and then to Cosgroves for a cup of tea (or some variation thereof) and my hair needs awashing.
The Edit:
That was obviously this morning. Hair is washed, dried straightened and I've been for a walk. I saw Stacie's baby! She was so adorable, with her little tongue poking out.
Cosgroves was closed by the time we'd finished walking, actually, which screwed things up but meh, was a good walk anyway and had some tea when we got home ^_^
Oh, lets go over my purchases, while I'm here:
The Underwear:
Red polka-dot Animal ones (from the muppets...) Black and pink Tinkerbell ones White lace (er.. voil stuff) with large aqua spots thong Black, blue and white patterny ones Satin red with white polka-dots ones
The Lush
Mask of Magnaminty (been meaning to buy some for a while but when I last when to Lush they only had the larger pot in and I'm too cheap for that) Tea Tree Water Toner (lovely stuff!)
The Other Random Rubbish
A Small claret bear with the West Ham emblem on it's front. It was like £2.99 and so adorable looking I couldn't not buy it ^_^ A Little Mermaid A4 notebook A Toy Story A4 notebook A bag of pic'n'mix sweets from Covent Garden
and also This video on my phone from the day. I'm the girl in the turquoise jacket (you might hear Jaz say 'Go on Chelsea' - that's me btw.) who puts the money down. All the woman did was do that arm thing and wink at me. Ahh well. Worth every one of the 4p we put in her tin lol.
Will post (very poor) videos when I can work out how.
Work describe anything, will make it sound worse than it actually was lol.
Fucking loved it.
Saw:
The Boy Least Likely To The Long Blondes The Young Knives The Fratellis The Automatic
Some of Morning Runner.
Wandered off to go see Larrikin Love because no'one else wanted to but they canceled.
Saw a bit of Jamie T but then wanted to get back to the mainstage because The Charlatans were on soon after.
Best Bits:
* Getting mullered down the front of The Automatic because I'm short, skinny (easily bashed about) and had no shoes on ^_^
** That random guy getting into our car while we were in a traffic jam to get home
*** Many many more things which i can't be fussed to describe lol.
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Jaz and Tasha managed to blag their way into VIP which was fabulous and they saw Peaches Geldoff (we knew she had to be here somewhere, because she's a Faversham girl, like us lol)
Alright, alright I'm being lazy and pasting from my myspace, but I am adding some other stuff because I'm annoyed by some people on my myspace who isn't gonna read it.
Not editing all my mistakes in this so please don't judge me on my poor grammer atm, i'm very annoyed/upset and typing correctly is the leats of my worries ^_^
Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song titles that come up to answer each question.
(haha! I'm being honest with these answers, I know the first one looks doubtful, but it did come up as my first shuffle song!)
How does the world see me? TR - Not Like Other Girls
Will I have a happy life? DJ Ali Featuring Tim Fuller - You Don't Know
What do people really think of me? Cinderlla Soundtrack - Oh, Sing Sweet Nightingale (haha! Or, as us folk in Kent would put it, stop fucking singing you bitch!)
Do people secretly lust after me? The Jam - Going Underground. (wait, that can either sound really pervy, or insulting... i'll go with pervy lol)
How can I make myself happy? TR - Someone Else
What should I do with my life? Linkin Park (my brother's music, not mine btw) - Faint (Ooer)
Will I ever have children? Mara - Turning It On (I think That means yes)
What is some good advice for me? The Specials - Ghost Town (err. Symbolism for ... umm...everyone growing up and leaving Faversham, but I souldn't ignore those I don't see anymore, because I don't go to school?)
What do I think my current theme song is? No Doubt - It's My Life
What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Lois Armstrong - What A Wonderful World
What song will play at my funeral? White Stripes - Truth Doesn't Make A Noise
What type of men/women do you like? Good Charlotte - The Young and The Hopeless (haha! Okay, so I clicked the shuffle button twice for this one)
What is my day going to be like? Divine Inspiration - The Way (Put Your Hand In My Hand)
Why am I here? Razorlight - Don't Go Back To Dalston
What will people remember me for? The Prodigy - Girls (haha!)
What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow? TR - Liquid
Are there people outside waiting to take me away? Jungle Book Soundtrack - Trust In Me (Haha, thanks)
What will this year be all about? Scissor Sisters - Return To Oz
Okay, so you're meant to do the lyrics for these songs and answer the question like that.
But you all know I can't be fussed to do that
Feel free to decifer my life though my googling the lyrics at your own leisure ^_^
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That bloke sooo looked like Pete!!!!
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Cousin Got me signed DPT stuff under the name 'Chelsea-Bun'
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Got 2 more job application forms
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Saw Laura today
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Bought some beautiful jewelerry for 75% of the price
Do I want that degree? Do I need it? Am I giving up what I thought I always wanted to do to persue soemthing that is an ideal and not a dream?
Maybe it is a dream though, perhaps I do want it, not more than the other dream - but hell, this is more relaistic, and aren't dreams that can come true more credible than those that might not happen?
Of course not. Where would we be then, eh? If we all relied on our realistic views.
Was it not a phrase of 'sensory control destroys fanciful elation' that had me thinking all those months ago?
Is this too theatrical? Is that what I want to do? Am I giving up talents? I don't want to give those up. Not that ... but I could include it in everyday life. Does Joey's Ruth not include that when she teaches? She does, she does! But, me?
We're too young, being forced to grow up to fast, and yes we have to, and yes, I'm not a child and I indulge in all things surrounding adulthood but my god! Can we not have a time to be children? In the space of 4 years we've been plucked form the innocence of childhood and plunged into work, and degrees and diplomas, and fucking-failed-dreams.
I wanted to post an P/C interview, from you know, outside the T'n'T (although in the piccies where they were sitting I'm not sure it was immedietly outside the T'n'T building. Cos that would be street, and this was grass. But anyhow!)
But I can't find it anywhere and I really can't be fussed to type it up.
Check your BT books for the interview lol, I'm sure you have it.
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Using the cameras tomorrow! Hmm. I know they'll break for me, I don't go well with technology lol. Ahh well, it'll be alright. I'll let someone else film first.
Annoyed with him atm. I won't say a name, although he won't read because I doubt has no clue what LJ is, but still.
Bastard.
lol.
English was good today actually. The two poems we did at the end of class were nice.
Well, not nice because they were WW1 poems, but you get what I mean. Felt proper geeky though cos I knew who Seigfried Sassoon *can't spell don't pick me up on it* was, and what enjambement *same rules apply* were.
I'll google Begbie and see if I can get the poems.
Also loving Suicide in The Trenches atm.
Well. Enjoying and appreciating. Loving is a little strong.
Fuck it, wikipedia is fucking me off. Don't know who Begbie is, fucking twat website.
Fancy!
Anyway. I have the poems upstairs. I'll probably edit it later.
And I'm on a fucking period (Ha! As if you could tell?!) so argh! etc
One lesson tomorrow, same as today. And then Thursday. Full day and Reminder: Write down the times/dates of the Uni talk things!
And then Fri I'm off.
It's a long week.
And it's only Tuesday.
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Lost is on an hour later tonight! Which means staying up until gone 12 and then watching DH on Weds from 10-12.
Nrmph.
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I'm sure I have much more to talk about but, the football isn't interesting me anymore, the internet is fucking me off, and a certain someone is being a git.
Bad day?
Today was the definition of bad day.
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Oh. And I entered the *name* compy last week.
And I was gonna enter with T but don't know if he entered.
Which will suck, because I don't want people to think I entered myself like.. properly. I only did it cos others i knew were. And if they didn't. well. It'll make me seem...
Yeah.
We'll see.
Anyway, I need a shower lol
Lets hope tomorrow goes better than last week. I don't want to go through that again. (P.s. Not explaining what happened last week, but yeah.
Oh. Oh. We just scored!
Perhaps I'll just have a shower after the game, eh?
The Charlatans The Automatic Morning Runner The Young Knives The Boy Least Likely To The Long Blondes The Fratellis Larrikin Love Mohair The Hot Puppies The Earlies Adem M Craft The Boyfriends Scully Absentee
And that I have numerous photos of... and still didn't notice.
Did I write an entry before about the T'N'T?
I may have done? Maybe..? If not, i'll find somewhere where i did and repost it.
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Found this in Teen ramble. I'm sure I wrote more somewhere else, but don't remember where :S
"Speaking of which.
Chatham. Never go there. I mean. There isn't even a cinema
But! There is a pub/club/indie-bar thingie called 'Tap N Tin' and it has two NME-related things on the walls, Up The Bracket on the Jukebox and the front cover of 'The Libertines' on one of the wooden rafters (I'm not sure why but I was just looking at the celing and was like... 'Jaz.. Is that the Libertines on the beam?')
And bouncers don't get there until 7-ish so, no ID needed :wink:
I think.. Tim Burgess *can't spell, the charlatans one... anyway* is there tonight.
But I'm skint. Well no. I'm not, but I need money to pay for my Avon purchases *hope they get here before Weds* and to obviously get to London"
I highlighted the bit which just caught my eye.
That's probably why that sticker was on the rafters >_
(And why is it almost all of my posts start off with that word?)
I haven't updated in a long time, I know, and yes, I know at the start I said I would but eh, what can you do?
Just wanted to wish you lot a Happy Easter ^_^
I had a good day. Mum swapped my manicure for the Bound Together book, The Labyrinth (By Kate Mosse, where mum quipped 'I bought you a book about Pete now I got you one with Kate' Oh. Hilarious that...) and an itty bitty Lindt bunny. Which was ADORABLE!! ^_^
Have been reading the Bound Together book on and off all day and.. well.. funny and amazing as it has been, it kinda put a dampener on my day. Because, yes I was a Libs fan for the endish but I wasn't when they were starting out, when they were well, not like they were at the end.
Does that make sense? I'm not too certain that it does, but i can't really describe it. Well I can, but I don't see why it should be on public display :P
But, despite this, It has been a good day, Went for an afternoon walk after dinner - down in the 'chalk-pitt' round the back of the house where they've just built a housing estate.
Gonna grumble here because that used to be chalk cliff, feild, chalk cliff. It used to be an exciting, unexplored vast expanse of.. well.. childhood fantasies I guess, and now it's a fucking housing estate. I mean we can see the side of soemone's roof no less than two metres from the end of our back garden fence.
And yes, I'm aware how snobbish that all sounds, because plenty of people have houses in view of their windows, and don't have back gardens let alone a mini field thing behind their house.
But anyways, I expect i sound terrible in this entry but it's just... sad y'know? I mean, I used to be afraid of what was hiding in those nettles - tht stig-of-the-dump creature always being in there somewhere, and the mystery of what was on the other side of the field... and that one time we climbed down our side of the the cliff, through the field and up the other side... and now, you can drive through it... and I know what's on the other side of the cliff - houses... and what's hiding in the nettles? What fucking nettles?!
*sigh*
Anyway, completely detracted from my original subject.. which was.. umm. Oh yes, went for a walk, which was nice, Faversham is lovely in some aspects.
I have drunk copious ammounts of tea today! Which I have to say i am pleased about, feeling all British and what not today (as if you couldn't tell by the sudden use of language in this entry!) And I can't complain, because I do love tea lol.
Can't belive I go back Weds.
I'm so screwed.
I've done no h/w (good ole two days left doing fuck all but working ahead!) and L-block's gone.
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ceridwen16's journal
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complacent
crappy
contemplative
cynical