Just some thinkage to clear my head

How can you decide your future at this age?

Do I want that degree? Do I need it? Am I giving up what I thought I always wanted to do to persue soemthing that is an ideal and not a dream?

Maybe it is a dream though, perhaps I do want it, not more than the other dream - but hell, this is more relaistic, and aren't dreams that can come true more credible than those that might not happen?

Of course not. Where would we be then, eh? If we all relied on our realistic views.

Was it not a phrase of 'sensory control destroys fanciful elation' that had me thinking all those months ago?

Is this too theatrical? Is that what I want to do? Am I giving up talents? I don't want to give those up. Not that ... but I could include it in everyday life. Does Joey's Ruth not include that when she teaches? She does, she does! But, me?

We're too young, being forced to grow up to fast, and yes we have to, and yes, I'm not a child and I indulge in all things surrounding adulthood but my god! Can we not have a time to be children? In the space of 4 years we've been plucked form the innocence of childhood and plunged into work, and degrees and diplomas, and fucking-failed-dreams.

Is that what I want?

Hell if I know.

  • Current Mood
    cynical cynical


Found what that poem was called.

I don't suppose anyone anctually cares. But it's being pasted here anyway ^_^

War exalts and cleanses: it lifts man from the mud!

Ask God what He thinks of a bayonet dripping blood.

By War the brave are tested, and cowards are disgraced!

Show God His own image shrapnel'd into paste.

Fight till tyrants perish, slay till brutes are mild!

Then go wash the blood off and try to face your child

"War Exalts" (1918) - Harold Begbie


Because I've Been Crying...

I wanted to post an P/C interview, from you know, outside the T'n'T (although in the piccies where they were sitting I'm not sure it was immedietly outside the T'n'T building. Cos that would be street, and this was grass. But anyhow!)

But I can't find it anywhere and I really can't be fussed to type it up.

Check your BT books for the interview lol, I'm sure you have it.


Using the cameras tomorrow! Hmm. I know they'll break for me, I don't go well with technology lol. Ahh well, it'll be alright. I'll let someone else film first.

Annoyed with him atm. I won't say a name, although he won't read because I doubt has no clue what LJ is, but still.



English was good today actually. The two poems we did at the end of class were nice.

Well, not nice because they were WW1 poems, but you get what I mean. Felt proper geeky though cos I knew who Seigfried Sassoon *can't spell don't pick me up on it* was, and what enjambement *same rules apply* were.

I'll google Begbie and see if I can get the poems.

Also loving Suicide in The Trenches atm.

Well. Enjoying and appreciating. Loving is a little strong.

Fuck it, wikipedia is fucking me off. Don't know who Begbie is, fucking twat website.


Anyway. I have the poems upstairs. I'll probably edit it later.

And I'm on a fucking period (Ha! As if you could tell?!) so argh! etc

One lesson tomorrow, same as today. And then Thursday. Full day and Reminder: Write down the times/dates of the Uni talk things!

And then Fri I'm off.

It's a long week.

And it's only Tuesday.


Lost is on an hour later tonight! Which means staying up until gone 12 and then watching DH on Weds from 10-12.



I'm sure I have much more to talk about but, the football isn't interesting me anymore, the internet is fucking me off, and a certain someone is being a git.

Bad day?

Today was the definition of bad day.


Oh. And I entered the *name* compy last week.

And I was gonna enter with T but don't know if he entered.

Which will suck, because I don't want people to think I entered myself like.. properly. I only did it cos others i knew were. And if they didn't. well. It'll make me seem...


We'll see.

Anyway, I need a shower lol

Lets hope tomorrow goes better than last week. I don't want to go through that again. (P.s. Not explaining what happened last week, but yeah.

Oh. Oh. We just scored!

Perhaps I'll just have a shower after the game, eh?

  • Current Mood
    uncomfortable uncomfortable

Fucking Dirty Bastards!

Some tosser just sent a 'joke' to my phone and it charged me like 2-fucking-quid.

I'm gonna fucking throttle soemone. I don't have money to top up my phone. I have like £3 credit now!!

Like. Argh!


Faversham Festival

Sunday August 6th:

The Charlatans
The Automatic
Morning Runner
The Young Knives
The Boy Least Likely To
The Long Blondes
The Fratellis
Larrikin Love
The Hot Puppies
The Earlies
M Craft
The Boyfriends


Nothing much more needs to be said 0_0

So going to that ^_^

First Day back

Not really much to say but I thought i'd update because TRF is down so I can't so anything concerning that.

First day back today.

And I didn't get lost!

Not too sure about the new building.

I mean, it's alright, very pretty and furnished on the inside and that (although the toilets ahve no mirrors! In a girls' bathroom!!) but Hmm.

All my classes are on the same floor, and it's the same floor as the coffee cafe.

If only I could find soem toilets on that floor and I wouldn't have to move lol.


And my truquoise/blue-esque jacket came yesterday.

It's sort of.. denim-looking cloth, like my brown jacket only the material is more flexible.

It's lovely. And fitted.

And only £16.

Mum's buying me a black one as well because it fits so well and it's only £20 ^_^


Avon stuff still not here yet!

I don't even remember what I ordered!

Yes I do :P

Tinted red lip care
Steel Smoke Eyeliner and Eye Shadow
Blue Mascara
White Grape exfoiliant

The WGE was 70p and I thik one of the others is free, although don';t remember which.

Was tempted to buy their foundations but 1.) I don't really agree with covering yourself up.

In all senses of the word.

and 2.) It was expensive.

Oh gosh, I can't wait until summer!





Freedom Giggy.

First ever B'shambles gig.

Album cover photo thing.

On those chairs.

That we sat on.

And that I have numerous photos of... and still didn't notice.

Did I write an entry before about the T'N'T?

I may have done? Maybe..? If not, i'll find somewhere where i did and repost it.


Found this in Teen ramble. I'm sure I wrote more somewhere else, but don't remember where :S

"Speaking of which.

Chatham. Never go there. I mean. There isn't even a cinema

But! There is a pub/club/indie-bar thingie called 'Tap N Tin' and it has two NME-related things on the walls, Up The Bracket on the Jukebox and the front cover of 'The Libertines' on one of the wooden rafters (I'm not sure why but I was just looking at the celing and was like... 'Jaz.. Is that the Libertines on the beam?')

And bouncers don't get there until 7-ish so, no ID needed :wink:

I think.. Tim Burgess *can't spell, the charlatans one... anyway* is there tonight.

But I'm skint. Well no. I'm not, but I need money to pay for my Avon purchases *hope they get here before Weds* and to obviously get to London"

I highlighted the bit which just caught my eye.

That's probably why that sticker was on the rafters >_